Say Jeez!

I just don't like photographs with people in them. Of all the things in the world to take pictures of, why focus on people? I mean, people are everywhere, swarming in huge numbers, getting on each other's nerves ...

What about taking pictures of people to remember them by? You will remember the important ones, and others will fade away. Photos won't change that.

What about taking pictures of ourselves with famous people? Those are the worst. Why do we idolize people for their success? How annoying it must be to have strangers come up to you and want their pictures taken with you. Does that make them better? Is the fame supposed to rub off? I often see pictures of people with Mel Gibson or Stephen King or whoever, and the people are always so happy, the celebrities either bored or with a big false smile. Same with autographs. When I run into someone well known, my only instinct is to thank them for all their work, or their performances. I don't need to pretend that I can take a piece of them home with me, or ch-ching some scrap of paper for cash.

Okay ... historical moments make good photos. And we can't tell if a moment is historical until after we're dead (j/k). And little moments may be a part of our personal history. But give me something other than "Bob and Jo" and "Bob and Jo with baby". I'll take stars and mountains and distant lands -- places I can escape to. So many of the photos online are the equivalent of the floor of a taxicab.

Okay, hold it right there and say "Jeez!"

offbeat places

From a simple trip through noplace special ...

There was an Odd Lots next to a pawn shop. So, I guess people can pawn their beloved junk, it goes through a hole in the wall and you can buy it back at a big discount right next door?

There was a place called Crazyburger. Maybe not such a great choice of names now, with potential Mad Cow Disease out there. I'll have the crazy special with extra meningitis?

We passed a friendly looking place: the Angel Animal Hospital. Now, what kind of smart-ass things could anyone possibly come up with for this harmless name? Surely, nothing comes to mind. Having just seen Criss Angel walk through a plate glass window last week, here goes ... the Criss Angel Animal Hospital. He can astound your pets, make them chase ghosts and do card tricks, then levitate them home happy. And when he tells them to SIT, they'll sit for 36 hours on a giant pedestal in the middle of New York City.

Later in the day, before walking into a place called Penny Lane, I swore I heard a voice say this:

"His phone went dead. Or, maybe his brain went dead and his phone just said, 'No signal!'"

Oh yeah, the voice was me (again).

Brains at work. Hardhats heartily recommended.

writing news Sep 2006

Time flies, summer is gone, days are getting shorter but still rather toasty outside ... here's my latest writing news.

Naturally, if you don't want to receive these occasional newsletters, just email me and I'll take you off my list.


=====> BOOKS:

New story collection ("Blank Spaces & other dangers") now available from
Rage Machine Books. You can grab a copy here: http://www.lulu.com/content/290938
or I'll send you a signed one for $14 plus $2.50 shipping, just email me.

I still have a few copies of "Afterlife 9" available for $5 postpaid in the USA.

Poetry chapbook "Jane Doe Discovered" coming in 2007 from SamsDotPublishing.com

=====> RECENT STUFF:

I have had works in Scifaikuest, Bondage, and Star*Line recently. I recently judged a poetry contest at sfpoetry.com, limerick contests at limerickContests.com, and finished editing a short book of limericks for samsDotPublishing.com.

I was a guest at Leprecon (Phoenix) in May.

I went up to Worldcon in Anaheim in August where I got to hear Ray Bradbury do a quick talk -- always inspiring. I got to say hi (again) to Stan Schmidt of Analog, and keep send him weird, offbeat stories, hoping for the best.

I will be a guest at ConJecture in San Diego at the end of September. Looks like I will have to skip Milehicon in Denver again this year -- these trips get expensive.

Recent book cover art and/or design:
- a trilogy by Christopher Sloan for RageMachine Books
- Ecotastrophe anthology (SamsDot)
- Wondrous Web Worlds 6 (the "Best of 2005" collection for SamsDot)

Flash: "Radio Disconnect" recently appeared in FlashShot

=====> NEW SALES:

Two articles about poetry will be appearing in Star*Line.

Flash fiction "Harrod runs his mouth" and "Other monsters" to appear in FlashShot

Audio story "Lost at Sea House" to appear in the Late Late Show (web)

Story "Coral Morning Blue" accepted by 5th Story Review

Poems accepted by Illumen, Diagram, Amaze, Appalling Limericks, Esperance, Between Kisses

Audio poems to appear on Podiobooks.com virtual poetry slam

Audio drama serial "Nightbeat 2,3,4" in production at PhillipsFilms

=====> MY SITES:

My active blogs:
"writer's life" blog ... http://www.authorsden.com/scottcvirtes
Unfuture Chronicle ... http://unfuture.blogspot.com