Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The night we didn't see Tron (a dream)

Funny dream just now. We went out to the movies (Tron was playing), but after getting the tickets & popcorn and settling down, there was no movie, just a lecture on socialism. But even that was a lie. It was clearly just some new age babble, some darn cult looking for stooges. The audience put up with it, grumbling a bit and slurping their now-empty sodas with some disdain, but surprisingly okay with it. Then the cult guys in their silly cult outfits started passing around collection plates (old Jiffy Pop containers). When one got within reach, I grabbed it and threw it across the room, a wobbly aluminum frisbee leaving a trail of other people's pocket change.

"Hell no," I said. "You already stole our money, now get lost and show the movie."

Cult guy said, "We didn't take your money, the theater did. We're here to help you see the light. Our service is free."

I translated this for the crowd: "Well folks, that's all you need to know about socialism and cults that make you dress funny. Someone else took your money, and they'll help you for free, except that it'll cost you anyway. And I bet the doors are locked, too!"

It seems like my reveal struck a nerve. Ten minutes later the whole theater was on fire, and a week later City Hall banned movies from our town forever, citing some obscure precedent about how Hollywood is trying to subvert decency and family values, and how everyone knows there are no such things as cults. People dress funny and say uneducated things of their own free will.