short-lived heroes

I think I killed all those annoying characters from "Heroes" last night. I tipped them off to a secret lab underneath an old brick building in Newark. They showed up in their usual ways, and spent hours talking about how they were feeling. Then they finally got their asses moving and went inside.

I wasn't planning on killing them. It was more of a "candid camera" setup, I just wanted to see the looks on their faces when they walked through the fire and did the puzzles and traveled through time and whatever else to get to the safe with all the secrets in it. Confetti was supposed to pop out, along with a note saying "Smile, you're on YouTube!"

But apparently one of them was allergic to confetti, and when he sneezed it caused earthquakes. Heck, I don't think he even knew it, because they're all such lame characters (except for the blond with the two personalities). All I know was, I was a few blocks away in my SUV, watching the video feeds, when he sneezed and the ground started shaking. A few minutes later the building did a perfect Hollywood implosion, and nothing was left but a roiling cloud of dust.

I stared at the wreckage for a moment. Various shades of Oops crossed my mind. Then I drove off slowly, thinking, "They're coming to take me away, ha ha, hee hee, ho ho ..."

But they never did come.

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a fun fever dream - 3/15/07
Apparently, I just don't like that show.