Thursday, November 24, 2005

oil cap girl

She had a face like Geddy Lee. Which looks fine on Geddy Lee, but was a bit of a shock when the lady with the long blonde wavy hair turned around and grabbed my filler cap.

That's an oil filler cap. You know, when you change the oil, forget to put it back on, hear it rattling across the road when making a sharp turn, can't find it when you scour the bushes on the way home, then find yourself standing in line at the auto parts store feeling like an idiot. While I was waiting, I saw a big sign near some mopeds about how there is no "rollback period" when buying a motor vehicle, i.e. you can't get your money back just because you change your mind.

Boring. I grabbed some Chex Mix from the impulse-buy rack. The guy in front of me bought a tailpipe about twelve feet long as was now dragging it out the door. I was zoning out, looking at that pretty blonde hair. She turned around, and there we were.

My turn. Just my luck, I didn't have enough cash for the oil cap and the snack, so I asked her to take the snack off the bill.

"Sorry," she said. "There's no rollback period on junk food."

"Well, there oughta be."

"Well, there ain't."

"It's not like I ate it, spit it up and then asked for a refund. It's factory sealed."

"I don't need this trouble. Just put it on a credit card."

"My cards are like vampires, draining me dry."

"Well you have to pay for what you bought."

"But I haven't actually bought it yet."

"Yes you have," she said. She was enjoying this for some reason. And there was nobody on line being bothered by our little spat. Apparently tormenting customers is what she did on her break, to make up for the customers tormenting her between breaks.

"Okay then." I slapped the bag of snacks onto the floor. "Now the ten-second rule oughta apply."

"That's a five-second rule, and I don't think so."


"That rule only applies to hamburgers and candy."

Ever notice how women make up random rules and then stick by them like they were gospel truth? I won't go into that here.

"I have an idea." I let a dramatic pause build, just to be dramatic. "Just ignore it. Some customer will put it back on the rack."

She smiled. "Okay," she said. And with one little electronic blip it was taken care of.

I really wanted to know why that was okay, but didn't want to press my luck. I was saving twenty bucks by buying a Mexican knockoff part instead of the manufacturer part I'd have to special order, and saving all those calories from those yummy little rice squares & peanuts I didn't get to eat. I got to see some silky blonde hair and have a nonsense non-argument with nobody special.

Life is odd.


mostly real life - 11/23/05

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