Weirds of wisdom

Things overheard or almost said out loud recently ...

You can't do #2 on a golf course.

Did his business card actually say, "Strawberry Orgasm Engineer"?

The problem with burning your trash, if it's full of cat poo, is that the nearest teenagers will complain that it smells like barf.

The castle was old, dark, and backlit in an ominous way, with three kinds of celery growing in a small patch right out front by the plastic gnome.

Meet Pus Bucket, the rather mean ogre.

I wouldn't say his hair is greasy, but the only thing missing are the croutons. (Okay - this was from Kolchak, the Night Stalker. He had some great sarcastic zingers, didn't he?)

Quit staring at those girls, they're nothing but trouble. Here's a paper towel already ... go wash behind your ears.

I think back to a lunchroom at a big company in Iowa ... everyone was complaining that if the corn doesn't grow fast enough, their marijuana plants could be seen from a mile away.

And the freakish PHP error of the year:
Parse error: parse error, unexpected T_PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM on line 0 of ...

Yeah, that's what life is like right now.

Gerald Ford.